DUMBWAITER: The guy who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: What you call your child by when you're angry.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're positive you're not raising them right.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by wiping it on your jeans.
TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
VERBAL: Able to whine in words.
WHODUNIT: None of the kids who live in your house.
