Sunday, November 07, 2010

DEFINITIONS FOR PARENTS

DUMBWAITER: The guy who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: What you call your child by when you're angry.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're positive you're not raising them right.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by wiping it on your jeans.

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

VERBAL: Able to whine in words.

WHODUNIT: None of the kids who live in your house.